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His family, in a word, was stable. Chrysos was the home of a prospering society where the privileged exerted a certain amount of control over the populace and the populace, in turn, allowed their subtle supremacy provided that their own needs were met.

The Apichai family had been granted a seat in the upper class, a blatant show of favoritism from long ago, and maintained their wealth and prestige through attending to various exploits. Business in export as well as the few generations that directly served under the Gold Clan allowed them a comfortable living arrangement the likes of which Zendelrin could never argue strongly against as he too reaped the benefits of his higher standing in later years.

As many young boys tend to do, Zendelrin held a certain amount of idol worship to his brother. The five-year gap seemed insurmountable at such a tender age and in the eyes of a youth the words from his elder were worth more than gold. Kani Apichai, naturally, fed off his brother’s idolization of him and was quick to exploit his authority over his sibling when it came to making mischief. Zendelrin’s gullibility was easy to manipulate and his timid nature permitted Kani a measure of control that any elder sibling would enjoy.

Pleasant days spent together ended the summer of Zendelrin’s fifth birthday where his father, a former soldier and member of the Gold Clan, put a sword in the hand of his youngest. Blade work had never been an interest of the shy, Zendelrin who spent his afternoons in the lap of his mother, reading to her while she brushed his hair or knitted some odd piece of clothing for one of them. Resurien, his father, disliked the idea of such soft living and was quick to thrust the boy onto a tutor for training with blades in the hope that at least one of his sons would carry a military position. It worked, and yet it didn’t.

Zendelrin’s skills in the standard blade were terrible. He was tall, for sure, but a comically gangly thing and left much to be desired in terms of strength. His instructor, thankfully, saw he would need different weaponry and remedied the problem by introducing the boy to a rapier. He was still no warrior but he could at least hold his own. What he lacked aside from interest as a swordsman was the desire to kill. It irked his father to no end. He would holler and blow smoke and rail at the boy, throwing him in front of a hen house once and telling him to catch and kill one or he’d not eat. Zendelrin refused, shying away from death and anything related to it.

In his frustration he would seek the comfort of the fields or edges of the forest, burying his senses in solitude with his writings. It was one such day when the dispirited boy met a girl named Liara. She was a spritely girl with a bright smile and an even brighter mind. She was inquisitive to the point of being intrusive and at first he held a great dislike of her. While she seemed eager to learn he was mistrustful of her intentions. His father had scoffed at his pursuits and reading and his brother as of his twelfth year had begun to study the world of politics, a concept that went over his head at the time. What reason would this girl have with his knowledge?

Liara persisted. She pestered him and eventually her careful prodding broke through Zendelrin’s admittedly feeble defenses. He relished the attention of someone, other than his mother, who supported his ideas and was fascinated by his theories of the history of Raduga and the Kings. She was always willing to listen and offer an opinion or to simply humor his thoughts.

As he turned thirteen his brother officially had left the home to pursue his training as a diplomat and as sad as he was to see his brother go he was happy he was doing what he desired. He was comforted by the knowledge that Liara was still his companion. He confided in her his dreams for the future, his desire to know what it was that made the world work, how the Clans came to be and how the balance of power had been so badly disrupted. In doing so he grew closer to her and his feelings for her developed steadily with each smile she deigned to waste on the timid scholar.

Zendelrin began to pay special attention to the blossoming woman he had the honor of calling his best friend. She didn’t judge him, accepted his interests and was such a warm spirit that he couldn’t help but pine for ever small touch she would offer. He was not yet old enough to court her in so, in the hopes of being a respectable pursuer of her affections in the next few years, Zendelrin threw himself into his studies and sought the instruction of the scribes of libraries within Chrysos.

He greatly enjoyed time spent among the many shelves and earnestly chased a position among those who he admired for their vast intellect. Zendelrin barely noticed the time and before he knew it his brother had returned home and was being sung praises for assuring his future role in the political world. Naturally he was happy for his sibling and did not begrudge him his success. When asked how he’d whittled away his time, Zendelrin told Kani of his newly attained position within the archives and introduced him to Liara. It was the beginning of a very bitter fight.

In year that followed Kani managed to foster feelings for his brother dearest friend even while knowing of Zendelrin’s anxious attempts at trying to confess to her. Liara seemed oblivious to the younger siblings intentions. Kani felt torn. On one hand he wanted his brother to have the happiness he so clearly appeared to have found in Liara but at the same time he coveted the beauty that his sibling called friend. Within months Kani caved and told Liara of his feelings, come to find out that she too had shared sentiments for him. She was painfully aware of Zendelrin’s awkward attempts to court her and had brushed them off, hoping the teen would either grow out of it or would put his interests elsewhere. She did not feel for him the way she did for Kani.

They would meet in secret for some time until finally the guilt consumed the elder sibling and he confessed to lovesick sibling that he was courting the girl. Never before had he seen a look of such horror and betrayal from a member of his family.

Zendelrin raged at him without reservation and using his anger to fuel his courage, decided he would simply impress Liara. If his mind was not enough perhaps his father had the right idea. He pledged his loyalty to the King of the Gold Clan and sought out Liara a few months afterward to confess his feelings to the woman who had been his rock in troubled times. But Liara did not return his feelings.

The next year she married his brother. Zendelrin did not attend.

A year passed and Zendelrin, burning from the betrayal, sought a home of his own away from his relations and until he was twenty-one refused to speak to any of them, sans his mother. He threw himself into his studies, the only thing that seemed to make sense in his life and that would not betray him so completely. Unfortunately the mind-numbing bliss of work was interrupted by his father’s none-too-discreet disapproval of his decision to become a scholar, wasting away in scrolls and ink instead of doing something more suited to a Gold Clansman and for ostracizing his brother.

He had wanted nothing more than to please the man and he lasted three more years of defiance before finally visiting his brother and sister-in-law, discovering only then that they had a small child together. Kani despondently mentioned that he had been away from his duties as diplomat too long and would have to leave before Ratsami’s sixth birthday, a fact that struck Zendelrin as unfortunate. No man should be parted from his family so long and while he still felt the sting of his brother’s actions, he loved him all the same. Liara too expressed her desire to go with him and after much coaxing and cajoling, Zendelrin found himself with a five-year-old placed in his care.

The boy was tender and sweet – he looked so much like his mother if not for his coloring and physical weakness. He was never particularly healthy and being blind made Zendelrin anxious whenever he wished to venture outside. He could not always attend to him and he feared what would become of this precious piece of Liara that he’d been instructed to care for. After a time he forbade him from leaving the home, his terror of the dangers beyond his estate mounting with ever report of monsters outside the walls of the city and the lessening visits and letters from his brother and Liara.

As time went on Ratsami grew and so did his beauty. While he did not have the puckish, sun-like energy of his mother, the boy had an aura of serenity and calm that relaxed his troubled mind. In many ways his nephew became a reflection of Liara, of the woman he had grown up with, who he had loved, who he had lost and would never have. But this piece of her was his.

Neither Kani nor Liara had contacted him and their absence was obviously felt by the boy who had long ago begun to call him father – much to his dismay and pride. But as he grew his platonic feelings morphed into something unseemly. He began to obsess over the boy, demanding that he not leave the home, slipping him a poison of words that sang of danger and evil if he should leave. Zendelrin found the thought of Ratsami meeting someone, anyone, other than himself and the house staff disconcerting – not simply because he feared for the boys health but because he might turn his devotion to someone else and he wasn’t certain he could survive it. When Ratsami rebelled Zendelrin raged for hours and would strike him as his emotions roiled inside of him.

All the while he felt guilt. Guilt for hiding portions of his nephews desperately needed medication. Guilt for confining him to a room. Guilt for isolating him from a society that would love him. Guilt for obsessing over him in a way no parent (albeit surrogate) should. Guilt for being a man too weak to part with a fragment of a long lost desire.

TIMELINE

SEVEN YEARS OLD
» begins swordsmanship training.

TWELVE YEARS OLD
» meets Liara for the first time and befriends her.
» is encouraged by his mother, Talia, to pursue academics.

THIRTEEN YEARS OLD
» brother leaves the household to pursue further diplomat training.
» pressured by his father to follow his brothers example.
» beginning to feel stifled at home and further confides in Liara about his discontent.

FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
» convinced of his love for Liara.
» seeks further education and apprenticeship as a scribe.

FIFTEEN YEARS OLD
» Kani returns home and is introduced to Liara.

SIXTEEN YEARS OLD
» accepts small position in the archives.
» attempts to make his feelings for Liara known to her.
» brother begins to express romantic interest in Liara but withholds this from Zen.

SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD
» Kani confesses his intent to court Liara despite Zendelrin's protests.
» in the hopes of appeasing his father and impressing Liara, pledges his allegiance to the Gold Clan King.

EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD
» Kani marries Liara.
» Zendelrin refuses to attend the wedding.

NINETEEN YEARS OLD
» Ratsami is born.
» officially leaves the household.

TWENTYONE YEARS OLD
» achieves higher position among the chroniclers and begins documentation of political events.
» father expresses his disappointment in Zendelrin's profession and refusal to speak to Kani.

TWENTYFOUR YEARS OLD
» reconciles with his brother and becomes the caretaker of Ratsami while his parents are away.

TWENTY-SIX YEARS OLD
» fears Ratsami's weak constitution will worsen if put under too much stress and begins confining him to the home.

THIRTY YEARS OLD
» begins to develop untoward feelings for his nephew.
» afraid to lose possession of Ratsami, begins to socially isolate and physically abuse him whenever he attempts to escape.